"I felt helpless - not about God's mercy - but helpless with my situation"

Majid Hameed

Iraqi Civilian Disabled by War Struggles to Find Aid

NPR  interview by Eric Westervelt

December 7, 2007

36-year-old  Majid Hameed, father of five children, used to work as a blacksmith and night guard in Baghdad; but then he was crippled by a car bomb at work, losing both hands and forearms just above the elbow.  He says...

Before, I was a complete human being, but now I feel like I'm half human. Others have to do most everything for me. It's like a child's situation. They feed me, wash me and change my clothes.

NPR reports that, "Now without hands or a job, Hameed provides for his wife and five young sons by selling trinkets on Baghdad's still precarious streets. These days he hawks little plastic spray bottles of car air freshener. Using string, he hangs the trinkets from what is left of his mangled arms, which he covers with torn socks."

In a story that seems like it could have come out of a Dicken's novel, NPR describes the hardships Hameed faces in his new life on the street; but I want to focus on Hameed's own words:

This job now, I feel I'm humiliated in the street all the time, dealing with some bad people and people who just don't care. Some people encourage you, others do not. Some just dismiss me saying, 'Let God help you.' Such things drive me crazy. I'm not a beggar.

It is in response to his largely unsuccessful efforts to obtain good medical care, prosthetic arms and workman's compensation that he says...

I felt helpless - not about God's mercy - but helpless with my situation, with the government and the Americans. They don't keep their promises. Until now, we are colonized by someone stronger than us. They made us a government of empty chairs only....  I don't feel completely broken. I'm helping my family to live.

No Doubting God's Mercy

What I find particularly interesting about Hameed's report is that despite all he has been through, he states "I felt helpless - not about God's mercy."  He does not doubt God's mercy.  It is quite possible this represents an idiomatic or rote expression; but even if it does, it is still significant that he chooses to use it because it demonstrates the deepest orientation of his heart.  It is quite possible that, like the Psalmist, he is telling us of an inner resource within his heart.

Hameed's testimony is that God is good to him, despite his terrible circumstances, which are also directly controlled by God according to Islamic doctrine.  We have no way of knowing to what extent Hameed has ever thought through the Islamic doctrine of God's will or what his actual beliefs are; but we have an insight on his spirituality because of his testimony under extreme duress, which also challenges us to wonder how we would respond in similar circumstances.

People have been known to lose their faith for far more trivial reasons.