“I felt helpless - not about God’s mercy - but helpless with my situation“

Majid Hameed

Iraqi Civilian Disabled by War Struggles to Find Aid

NPR  interview by Eric Westervelt

December 7, 2007

36-year-old  Majid Hameed, father of five children, used to work as a blacksmith and night guard in Baghdad; but then he was crippled by a car bomb at work, losing both hands and forearms just above the elbow.  He says…

Before, I was a complete human being, but now I feel like I’m half human. Others have to do most everything for me. It’s like a child’s situation. They feed me, wash me and change my clothes.

NPR reports that, “Now without hands or a job, Hameed provides for his wife and five young sons by selling trinkets on Baghdad’s still precarious streets. These days he hawks little plastic spray bottles of car air freshener. Using string, he hangs the trinkets from what is left of his mangled arms, which he covers with torn socks.”

In a story that seems like it could have come out of a Dicken’s novel, NPR describes the hardships Hameed faces in his new life on the street; but I want to focus on Hameed’s own words:

This job now, I feel I’m humiliated in the street all the time, dealing with some bad people and people who just don’t care. Some people encourage you, others do not. Some just dismiss me saying, ‘Let God help you.’ Such things drive me crazy. I’m not a beggar.

It is in response to his largely unsuccessful efforts to obtain good medical care, prosthetic arms and workman’s compensation that he says…

I felt helpless - not about God’s mercy - but helpless with my situation, with the government and the Americans. They don’t keep their promises. Until now, we are colonized by someone stronger than us. They made us a government of empty chairs only….  I don’t feel completely broken. I’m helping my family to live.

No Doubting God’s Mercy

What I find particularly interesting about Hameed’s report is that despite all he has been through, he states “I felt helpless - not about God’s mercy.”  He does not doubt God’s mercy.  It is quite possible this represents an idiomatic or rote expression; but even if it does, it is still significant that he chooses to use it because it demonstrates the deepest orientation of his heart.  It is quite possible that, like the Psalmist, he is telling us of an inner resource within his heart.

Hameed’s testimony is that God is good to him, despite his terrible circumstances, which are also directly controlled by God according to Islamic doctrine.  We have no way of knowing to what extent Hameed has ever thought through the Islamic doctrine of God’s will or what his actual beliefs are; but we have an insight on his spirituality because of his testimony under extreme duress, which also challenges us to wonder how we would respond in similar circumstances.

People have been known to lose their faith for far more trivial reasons. 

Open Season on Secrets

Navy Times (27 Aug 07)

Spy stories abounded during the cold war, and the object was often to obtain information that is now readily available on the Internet, sometimes unintentionally because we are still just getting used to the implications of our relatively new online environment and have not yet figured out how to protect what most of us believe is our right to privacy. 

As this article from the NAVY TIMES reminds us, “Global information companies such as Google and Microsoft provide millions of regular folks a bird’s-eye view of everything from U.S. military installations to their very own backyards - sometimes with incredible detail.”

What recently alarmed military officials was that the image of a submarine with its top secret propeller blades clearly visible appeared on Microsoft’s mapping tool, Virtual Earth, the week before this article was published.  This is considered a highly sensitive national secret that has been kept hidden for decades; and the blades are supposed to be covered with tarps when they are out of the water.  But here they are now displayed on the Internet for the whole world to see!  Somebody forgot the tarps.  They probably didn’t think anybody would notice.

When first reading this article, I could not help but thinking of Moses so many years ago when he began to act on his insurrectionist impulses.  He looked around to see if there was anyone watching - presumably anyone who would squeal - and thinking the coast was clear, he killed the slave driver who was abusing his people.  For all practical purposes there was very little privacy in ancient times, but of course there were Israelite slaves around, so of course there was at least one witness.   We can all identify with moments of looking around to see if anyone is observing us, as well as having what we thought was personal becoming a public matter.  Moses thought nobody important would notice; but Pharaoh found out and he had to escape Egypt.

In those ancient times there was safety in always being seen; and survival was rooted in family and community life.  Only nighttime offered a degree of solitude, but that came at the price of fear.  On the other hand, the imposition of stark darkness at nighttime without artificial light allowed more time for meditation.

As people continued to reproduce and fill the earth, developments in technology, trade, and urbanization brought people into ever more closer living arrangements until in our present day we no longer experience greater community, but rather greater anonymity.  Artificial light has allowed us to extend our busy-ness to the point that we are sleep-deprived.  We are an increasingly urban society, though we still have strong rural roots. When too many people live too close together and then change locations frequently, there is no realistic way to develop the kind of intimate community where people personally know and understand very many of their neighbors (if they even see them on a regular basis).  We have come to assume that we have a great deal of privacy and anonymity, but we are discovering that now even our identity can be stolen without our knowledge.

This story of satellite surveillance also reminds us that we are always exposed to God’s surveillance.  We always knew that, but we never quite imagined hard copy photographs being available at the last judgment!  We don’t often think about the amount of video surveillance that goes on in the name of crime control, but we ought to have figured out by now - through the long period of Christendom, when virtually everyone in Europe believed they were being watched by God and would be disciplined or punished by God if they sinned - that threats of judgment and punishment did not significantly prevent crime in the past.  Apparently video cameras are not doing any better in today’s post-Christian world.  At least the additional appeal of God’s love draws us toward a higher and stronger motivation for our pursuits than the fear of punishment ever could inspire, though I must admit that the possibility of being exposed as a useless person on the last day gets my attention - that’s not a punishment, but not something you would look forward to, either.

We must all give account to God.  Our main choice is whether we want to put it all off till later; or whether we will settle matters now through self-examination so we can look forward to that meeting with a sense of hopeful expectation.  When we judge ourselves, we are exercising our minds according to what God desires if we make use of the resources he has given us in making those judgments.  That is what spiritual living is according to the Apostle Paul.